It's the hockey stick graph. It is a rather simple looking graph -- with a long, stable shaft and a fast rising blade -- that purports to represent averaged Northern Hemisphere temperatures over the last thousand years. It is pretty well the only piece of evidence left for hysterical global warming alarmists to use as proof that mankind's activities are warming the planet, thus justifying draconian restrictions on Freedom™.

Regular readers of Tech Central Station will know that the hockey stick has been thoroughly debunked in a veritable plethora of articles in top peer-reviewed journals, even including a paper in the "prestigious British journal Energy & Environment" and that the graph is the result of scientific malpractice.

But the latest strike against the hockey stick is the most devasting yet, shattering it into a million billion pieces. You can get a hockey stick shape from random data. For example, look at the results of this random search. The graph below shows how the results perfectly match the hockey stick graph. You can try the experiment yourself. Enter any random search string in the search box at the upper right of this page and see often you get hockey stick results.

 

Clearly, if random searches give hockey sticks, the infamous "hockey stick graph" must also be random and cannot possibly show past temperatures. Furthermore, try saying "hockey stick" twenty or thirty times. Hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick hockey stick. Notice how it starts to seem meaningless? That's exactly what it is.

So what then, is the true shape of the graph? Well, it's the "big dipper graph" shown below. Notice the mathematical simplicity of the shape, without any of those silly wiggles that the graph above has. And it's supported by numerous studies, too numerous for me to need to name any of them. And since David Wojick, Ph.D. has a Ph.D. in mathematical logic, we know that the big dipper graph is mathematical and logical. Finally, notice that unlike the hockey stick graph, a random search does not produce the big dipper graph. QED.

 

Tim Lambert, Ph.D. is a computer scientist at the University of New South Wales. He maintains a web log called Deltoid. The views presented here by Tim Lambert are solely his own and do not represent the view of the University of New South Wales or Tech Central Station. I shouldn't have to point this out but this article is a parody and the links on the left sidebar point to more parodies. The graphs and ads on this page are actually from real Tech Central Station articles!

 

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