Schoolchildren, especially those in high schools, can be very cruel to some of their classmates. I don't just mean playground bullying. I mean the awful, embarrassing and sometimes disparaging nicknames that get conferred on those that just happen to be different, handicapped, or simply unpopular. Some of these nicknames "get stuck"; the recipients just gave up, accepted fate and adopted the nicknames as their very own, displacing the auspicious real names their parents had carefully chosen for them (names of Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Catholic saints, or names which connote prosperity, glory, wisdom, etc., e.g., my Chinese name says 'brilliant authority' in one rendering; OK, OK, you can stop that snickering right now!)

Here are some memorable examples of nicknames from my high school, and the cicumstances that gave rise to the nicknames. SHARE YOUR SCHOOL NICKNAMES HISTORY WITH US!!

1. "FISH": WHY? Poor guy had a nervous twitch, opening his mouth every few minutes like a fish breathing. WHEN? Just after a term break in 3rd Form (year 9), when he had to stand in front of the class to recount 'What I did during the vacation', and he was tongue-tied. A cruel classmate yelled from the back, "Just tell a FISHY story". It stuck. AFTERMATH: Fish is now a successful businessman in Malaysia. He still has this twitch, much less often now, and everybody pretends not to notice.
2. "GUNSLINGER": WHY? This 6th Form (year 11) girl was a 'tomboy', and walked around in a toughguy style, with arms swinging aggressively. She brooked no nonsense. WHEN? One day, some 2nd Form kid noticed that her walk resembled the sheriff's walk in the gunfight scene in 'High Noon', and he arranged to walk toward her in one of the long hallways in the school, imitating her walk. Nearing her, he yelled, "DRAW!!", pretending to whip out his 6-shooters and firing at her. Cruel, raucous laughter errupted from his friends. AFTERMATH: Gunslinger is a happily ensconced grandma now, after a successful business career. Still has this walk.
3. "BUGS": WHY? I swear that I am not exaggerating when I say that this guy who joined us in 3rd Form from a northern state looks like Bugs Bunny when he smiles. It was noticed from Day One. It was completely routine to be cruel to new boys and girls. WHEN: During his first lunch break. Someone looked into Bug's lunch box and loudly asked, "Why no carrots?" to everyone's laughter. Bugs became very popular when he cheerfully adopted this nickname. AFTERMATH: Umpteen years later I was visiting Melbourne and the old boys and girls from my high school had a get-together which I attended. Bugs was then a senior engineer with the Vic electric power company. While he was in the kitchen helping prepare the salads, Bug's wife asked those who were in the lounge with her, "Why do you all call my husband 'Bugs'?" Oh god, I had to rush out into the garden to laugh, and WCL (one year my junior, but now a shrink) had to do that too. WCL nealy killed me with laughter when he said, "Now we know what they meant when they said that Love is Blind."
4. "F-squared": WHY? This guy had the most lecherous looking face in my year. It was short for F***er Face, abbreviated as a code to fool the girls into thinking it had to do with Math; you see, private jokes were especially juicy when it was gender-exclusive. The gilrs had their own private jokes to which we boys were not priviy. WHEN? Heaven only knows, as it just seemed to emerge by consensus. AFTERMATH: F**2 trained as an Elec Engineer in London, worked as one, and is now retired. He looks quite dignified now, but still has the hint of a lecherous grin.
5. "FANTASTICA": WHY? The most gorgeous girl one year junior to me; she joined the school in Lower 6th Form and caused a stir on Day One. Boys fell over one another to do things for her, but she politely declined with a smile that "would melt the icebergs of Antarctica" as one of the boy prefects told me. I checked her out, and as the precious line from "Blazing Saddles" breathed by Madeline Kahn said, "It's twue, it's twue!" WHEN? Within an hour of her arrival. AFTERMATH: Two of the boys decided they would visit Fantastica at her home and try to curry favor with her parents. On arrival (so went their account) F's father appeared at the door. He was a stern-looking man, clearly a devout Muslim with high expectations for his daughter's academic grades, and he bellowed, "Oh, so you boys have nothing better to do than to visit girls, eh? Don't you have any homework? What is the name of your teacher? Who are your parents? What is your phone number? Etc, etc." Needless to say, the boys hightailed it. As time progressed, the ferocity of F's father got embellished. As of about 10 years ago, in the re-telling he had by then evolved into an Islamic Jihad Warrior, and the boys saw a pair of swords on the wall behind that door. AFTER-AFTERMATH: F is reportedly a happy grandmother, having retired from a professional career overseas.
6. "DELAYED": WHY? Poor fellow always laughed at the teacher's jokes about 5 to 10 minutes after everyone else. WHEN? After one of the boys smuggled in his uncle's book on sexual dysfunction which had a description of an unfortunate ailment called 'premature ejaculation'. A classroom wit (NOT ME!!) quickly noticed that this fellow suffered the mental equivalent of the reverse ailment. It then got naturally shortenned to just 'Delayed'. AFTERMATH: Delayed became a lawyer, and was apparently a great courtroom success with his sardonic sense of humor. He now laughs at jokes without the delay, and had accepted the nickname as a great private joke among his close friends.
7. "ROCK-AND-ROLL": WHY? A brilliant table-tennis player, not because he was at the top of the skill chart, but because he had the disconcerting style of moving around the table like he was a local Elvis. The reason? He used the western grip, and had no forehand! So he had to use the backhand to return evey shot!! Just picture it. He so pissed off most of his opponents that the consequent irritation would cause them to lose to him. WHEN? After R&R beat some top players, and one of them was so pissed off that he said, "Bugger, I can beat any real TT-player but I cannot be expected to beat a bloody Rock-and-Roll idiot who pretends to play TT!". AFTERMATH: R&R still has no forehand, and is a Prof of Physics in the NTU. His PhD is from MIT.
8. "SAMPAN": WHY? A "sampan" is a small, almost kayak-like Malaysian boat. Most of the students in my high school who took English Literature as an 'O-level' subject had to read many classics, and one was Marlowe's 'Dr Faustus'. In it is the immortal poem that paid homage to Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman who ever lived. The lines describing her began with "The face that launched a thousand ships, And burnt the topless towers of Ilium". Well, if maximal beauty = 1,000 ships, we figured the average girl in my school is worth, say, about 5 or 6 ships, since our standards were very high! The girls who were 'swots' (deeply interested in books) and wore coke-bottle glasses rated one SAMPAN, or about 1 Micro-Helen.
9. "PIN-HEAD": WHY? He was a particularly pedantic School Captain. Not really hated, but dismissed as an idiot. Unfortunately, he was very tall and had a relatively small head. WHEN? One day he punished a senior student in the Upper 6th (year 12) for the most insignificant offence by getting him to write 1,000 "lines". This inventive student then remarked to all and sundry that only a guy with the head of a pin could be that unimaginative. It stuck. AFTERMATH: Pin-head went on to read Science, then later worked for BHP. I do not know where he is now, but I heard he mellowed long ago.
10. "AERODROME": WHY? Rather cruelly, this old name for airports was used to describe a girl who matured physically later than her peers. It referred to the nature of landing strips. WHEN? I forget. AFTERMATH: She had the last laugh, as she blossomed into an attractive young woman with many admirers. She read Arts, took a first, and married one of the most eligible boys in the year after me. He read engineering and they now live in Melbourne.
11. "BANDIT": WHY? He was supposed to look like a guy in a "Wanted" poster. At that time Malaysia was in the throes of a Communist uprising (partly caused by British betrayal of the anti-Japanese insurgents, and partly by a miscalculation of the Maoists), and the British called the guerrilas "bandits". WHEN? I suppose when the poster went up. AFTERMATH: He became an engineer, and now lives in Sydney.