In a Japanese Hotel
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In the office of a Roman doctor
Specialist in women and other diseases.
On the Menu of a Polish Hotel
Salad a firm's own make;
Limpid red beet soup with chessy dumplings in the form of a finger;
Roasted duck let loose;
Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hongkong Supermarket
For your convenience, we recommend couteous,effient, self-service.
A sign posted in the Germany's Black Forest
It is stricktly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live to-gether in one tent unless they are married with each for that purpose.
On a tap in a Finnish washroom
To stop the drip,
turn cock to the right.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency
Take one of our horse-driven city tours
we guarante no miscarriages.
In an Acalpulco Hotel
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Tokyo Bar
Special cocktails for the ladie with nuts.
Detour Sign in Kyushi, Japan
STOP: Drive Sideways.
In a Bangkok temple
It is forbidden to enter a women here
even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance
English well talking
Here speeching American
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo
When passenger of foot heave into sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
In a Zurich hotel
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, tis suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a Rome laundry
leave your clothes here
and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Outside a Paris dress shop
Dresses for street walking.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Paris hotel
A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers.
In a dance hall in a London suburb
The directors have the right
to refuse admission to any lady they think proper.
In the window of a Swedish furrier
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Advertisement for donkey rides (Thailand)
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Paris hotel
Tea in a bag just like mother.
In the window of an appliance store
Don't kill your wife.
Let our washing machines do the dirty work.
Seen above an office Xerox machine
Customers will please refrain from messing with secretaries' reproductive equipment.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a hotel in Athens
Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor Shop
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
At a Budapest zoo
Please do not feed the animals.
If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
On a poster on a telephone pole in Oregon
Are you an adult that cannot read?
If so, we can help.
In a safety information card for airline
If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card,
please tell a crew member.
On a Maine shop
Our motto is to give our customers
the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
In the offices of a loan company
Ask about our plans for owning your home.
At a number of U.S. military bases
Restricted to unauthorized personel.
On a display of `You are my one and only' valentine cards
Now available in multi packs.
On the window of an Oregon store
Why go elsewhere to be cheated,
when you can come here?
In a Pennsylvania cemetery
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
On the grounds of a private school
No trespassing without permission.
On a Tennessee highway
when this sign is under water,
this road is impassable.
In front of a New Hampshire car wash
If you can't read this,
it's time you wash your car.
In a Massachusetts parking area reserved for birdwatchers
Parking for birds only.
In the vestry of a Church
Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
In a laundry room
Do not put wet clothes in dryers
as this can cause irreparable damage.
On a restroom hand dryer
Do not activate with wet hands.
At at the end of a London, Ontario newspaper ad openings for firefighters
We also provide all of our employees with a smoke-free work place.
In a New York Restaurant
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a Maine restaurant
Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a New York drugstore
We dispense with accuracy.
In a funeral parlor
Ask about our layaway plan.
In a clothing store
Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
Outside a country shop
We buy junk and sell antiques.
Definition of a monostable
A one horse accomodation.
In a town in Wales
No vehicular access to car park.
In a Greenwich Village Shop
Your choice: with or without pain.
On a bail bondsman's office
We'll get you out,
even if takes ten years.